If you find yourself here, welcome to the dark side… It’s true! I’m supposed to, “See the light,” but instead, I’m staring, squinting, blinking at it, dumbfounded, asking, “What the Hell am I supposed to do next?” — I have good ideas, but usually lack follow through and discipline. I have two very young children now, and simply put, I’m not as business focused as I wish I was. Maybe that is a lie… I’m actually, just not focused, in general. — What exactly do I wish I am??
Through the years, I have had bursts of creativity and passion followed by prolonged periods of depression and anger. I likely am “certifiable” though I lack the certificate. Know what I mean? Ha! So… It’s not likely that I should aim towards someone I used to be, but push forwards towards…well…that’s just it. Push forwards towards something, towards finding and rediscovering myself; the new me.
What do I like? What do I want to do?? What areas of myself need growth (and so on and so on).
Life’s eternal questions…
So while yes, this can only be fun and interesting, or merely boring and wordy ramblings of a thirty-something year old woman who still feels like she’s 16–*cough cough*–Grow the fuck up, Kat!
I will still sing. I enjoy it. I love the songs we make and the ones I am able to do bit parts on. I am currently very impatiently waiting for one in particular to be released, and I need a baby sitter, though I highly doubt I would trust anyone enough to actually watch my kids. I don’t want to send them to public-school, nor feel comfortable leaving them with family members (though that’s a topic for another day).
So while I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, the point is that I’m taking action and trying to love myself, let go of my past, and grow into my future, and, have fun while doing it. You get me?
I’m still likely to be an angry fuck sometimes, but… Maybe I can harness it like a super power. I mean, does anger management even work? I went to a therapist for a while once, and she was honestly bullshit.
Click below and watch my first video about, “Anger-Management!”
Art by: Lester Camacho